lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
