to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
