Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
