Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
