I will die if light touches me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My dick has a subreddit
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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