So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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