I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
