Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
