Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
