what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
