Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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