Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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