i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize