i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
