yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
