doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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