we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
