Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
love makes seman taste better
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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