i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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