He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
