Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
