This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
