weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
