Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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