She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
