Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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