It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize