i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
