If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
