Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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