I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
