I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
