I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
