He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
