dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
