My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
