A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
