we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize