I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize