my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
