I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
