those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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