i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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