Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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