my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
