why didn't you poke me back
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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