i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
