This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
