He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
