He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize