just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize