i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
two words...techno handjob
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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