Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
