I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
