drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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