is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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