it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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