that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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