Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have aggressive nipples.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we should paint friendship bongs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
