tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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