so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
