There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
