Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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