So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
