would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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