Soap is not a condiment
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
