Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
