you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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