lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
