was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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