Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
