There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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