You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
