Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
