Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
